If someone were to ask  Are you happy or Have you ever been happy, what would your answer be?

It is such an ambiguous question... Happy right here, in this moment now? There are so many variables, so many different degrees, all dependent upon the individual. But one thing is certain - happiness is not a magical place on a map, a forthwith destination with coordinates one can just type into GPS, point to and say, Oh, okay, let’s go THERE. Many people do travel in the blink of an eye, so it most certainly exists...

Everyday we encounter first and foremost a conversation with our self. That early communication in our mind designates the "weather" for the day - what we will create and how we will respond. We live in an unbalanced society - one side laden with complicated, high maintenance existence, the other side seeking simplicity. Choosing one over the other is what we are led to believe we should do, but to find true peace, it is a balance of both. That level of balance is different for each living being. It is survival... and satisfaction. 

My daughter's departure from the household to college has afforded me time to engage in more measured dialog with my inner self. Albeit working and busy, my cerebral exercise is to conceive what I really want, where I would like to be, and in what order I will face the fears. We all have them. Discovering what they are is half the challenge. The other half is deciding to do something about it. Fear is a lack of... time, energy, money, power, you name it. Trust resists fear, to see abundance rather than lack of. Practicing this each and every day promotes such immeasurable freedom once mastered. Meditation and mindfulness provide a vehicle.

Happiness is simple... Not an absence, but a fullness, an over-brimming feeling, that may come on with immediacy while you’re focused on something else. It sneaks up, forcing its way from your core with a delightful nervousness and awe. All of a sudden you become aware of this warmth sweating its way to the surface. It can be very overwhelming, defying preparation, as your mind speeds to catch up with spirit, distinguishing the change in the air around you, the breath you take. Though your heart expands, it's weightless, and your eyes might even well up as you acknowledge such totality. It’s no use to blink the unexpected drops away for in these precious moments, you could swear that at least one torturous question in your life has been answered, making every confusing, frustrating, incomplete thing behind you, complete sense in this instant. It is an affirmative satisfaction, Yes, what I have in this moment is enough. Gratitude is such a plentiful paradise.

I have been happy countless times. Taking time to see little miracles everyday, the quiet recognition brings a smile to my face. And as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, I know this revered deliverance will sneak up and consume my soul again and again, many more times when I least expect it... xoxo-Sonya